Tutoring Sam...culture bumps

I have started tutoring a student from South Korea. He is very eager to learn English for business and professional opportunities; he is spending 12-18 months in the United States for that purpose. He found me on Craigslist, and expressed genuine (yes, non scam) interest in language classes. (His case is unique, as I've had many fruitless Craigslist responses).

Among other things, we've worked on the perennial /R/ v /L/ pronunciation so familiar to Asian EFL learners. We’ve also reviewed some tense structures plus their meaning but his educational background has prepared him well for grammatical dissection (so much so that he stumped me; “What’s the difference between Present Perfect simple and Present Perfect Continuous?”). Right now, his critical learning, especially currently in the US and later in intercultural business dealing occurs on a deeper pragmatic level.

 A “Culture Bump” is a term that describes a point where you accidentally encounter a difference, good or bad, and then (hopefully) learn from it. These occur on a regular basis on the metaphorical road to intercultural living. Make sure you have good shocks…

Sam’s culture bump 1

Sam* sheepishly hands me some bills as payment at the end of our lesson. He apologizes for “paying me that way”. I ask him what he means. He tells me that in Korea, when you pay someone for a service, it is customary to put the money or check in a sealed envelop, on which you are to write, “thank you”. It is considered shameful if you don’t. I told him that we don’t have that tradition in the United States and that he should not worry; I wasn’t offended. I had to reiterate the latter until he was assured.

Sam's culture bump 2

Sam often calls me the day of our lesson to confirm. He also frequently asks me if I’ve eaten yet. Ironically, he has called me at times when I hadn’t, when perhaps normally I should have (i.e. 3pm in the afternoon, not having had lunch).  In our discussion about the difference between Present Perfect and Simple Past, he asks, “Which would be more natural, ‘have you eaten yet’ or ‘did you eat?’”. I answer that strictly speaking, the Present Perfect is used without prior knowledge, context or preconceptions; the Simple Past may indicate a presumption (maybe I knew you had plans to eat). Nonetheless, you will most likely hear native speakers use these forms interchangeably. Then Sam realizes that “have you eaten yet?” or “did you eat?”, when asked of an American will actually illicit a direct answer about one’s dietary habits or plans. He explains to me that in Korean (and Chinese) culture, this is a formulized greeting, along with, “How are you”; it is not to be taken as an inspection of daily mealtime routine!  “This is not American, is it?” he asks me. No, indeed, not; if you ask me those questions I will either think you are generally concerned about my eating habits or that perhaps you will suggest we eat together… “Have you eaten yet” is often followed by an invitation. “OH!” Sam exclaims eyebrows furled, head nodding, “I will not ask this to Americans any more”.

*pseudonym